And the winner is ...

"I'm not sure we will ever see anyone declare victory in Iraq," Army Gen. Ray Odierno told reporters at the Pentagon.

No victory in the Middle East? Uh-oh, someone's been reading history books.

Stop it!

There is a wonderfully insightful message buried within a press release from a U.S. senator urging further intrusion by the federal government into states' responsibilities.

Sen. Charles E. Schumer (D-NY) wants the Obama administration to endorse tough penalties for states that refuse to impose bans on texting while driving, as proposed in legislation offered by Schumer this summer.

His bill would require states to pass legislation outlawing texting while driving. Should they not, the states would risk losing 25 percent of their federal highway funds.

Here's the good part:

“The fact is, the federal government cannot, by itself, outlaw texting while driving. Only states can. But the federal government can make it hard for those states that don’t go along.”

You are correct, senator. It is the states' responsibility, so butt out.

Distracted driving is dangerous and should be avoided.

Further intrusion by the federal government into states' rights is dangerous (and may have already passed the point of salvaging the intentions of our founding fathers) and should be avoided.

Mahmoud who?

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Friday called the Holocaust a myth.

It would be interesting to revisit this in 50, perhaps even 20, years and see if anyone remembers who Ahmadinejad was.

A genuine hero

We lost a great person Saturday. Great? you ask. Norman Borlaug's efforts in improving crop yield around the world is credited with saving perhaps a billion lives. Hundreds of millions of lives! I know he was still teaching at Texas A&M when he was 90, perhaps still was. RIP.

Ever little thing

So, storage makes everything good ... except spelling.

The real condemnation is I saw this sign several weeks ago, but they changed it before I could get a photo. Then, it came back ... misspelled again.

The real crybaby is ...

Without really thinking, we've all said and done things we soon regretted, but few, I hope, have acted as rashly as Roger Stephens of Stone Mountain, Ga.

Police say the 61-year-old man became annoyed with a crying 2-year-old girl in a store. After reportedly warning the mother, "If you don't shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you," he fulfilled his promise by slapping the girl at least four times.

The girl was apparently not injured, though the mother was upset. Stephens was arrested and is charged with felony cruelty to children. (Take a look at his mug shot; he looks like he's about to slap the officer taking his photo.)

There is no defense for what Stephens did. An adult must understand that a toddler will cry in a store, that the mother cannot always stop and take the child outside, that it is just one of life's little inconveniences. It's not like a child crying in a movie theater, for goodness sakes.

At the very least, you ignore it. Preferably, you give the mother a knowing smile, assuring her that you empathize and giving her the encouragement she may need to deal with the situation. After all, you can move to another aisle away from the baby; she cannot.

Most importantly...

This Associated Press story tells about a frightening event in which a man jumped into a stopped school bus, overpowered the driver, took control of the bus and jumped out of the driver's seat as the bus rolled down a steep hill ... injuring two students and the driver.

But, wait, I omitted the key second word of the story -- the man was "shirtless" -- and the entire second paragraph -- he was "naked" by the time he was arrested.

I can tell you from years of experience that mundane or close-to-average stories are more interesting and more deserving of a reporter's time if there is an unusual angle. However, this is nothing like a mundane story. Drop the "reality TV" line of thinking and concentrate on what readers need to know.

Change or no change

Solomon Jackson Jr. says winning a $260 million Powerball jackpot will not change him.

Just for the record, should I cash a lottery ticket with a nine-digit jackpot, it will change me ... but only in a good way.

It's a zoo in there

Reuters brings to us the latest entry in the Quit Wasting the Court's Valuable Time category.

A woman is suing a zoo because she fell after a dolphin show left water on the floor; she slipped, fell and suffered what she claimed was $50,000 damages in lost wages, medical expenses and emotional trauma.

Hey! You're at a zoo. Take a little responsibility and provide some evidence you're representing the higher life form in the facility.

Go figure

This USA Today article reveals a stunning discovery. It explains states are closing prisons because of budget shortfalls and ... lo and behold ... it puts people out of work.

That's the problem with governments -- federal, state, county, city, school, drainage district, whatever -- adding services and hiring people. It all takes money. As more and more people work for the government, fewer people have real jobs with which to pay them.

Clinton and the mayor

Following are links to articles mentioned in this week's A Texas Voice column, printed between Aug. 13 and Aug. 16, depending on your publication:

City worker suspended for failing to greet mayor

Memo from city official

Second thoughts by city officials

Hillary: I'm the secretary of state; I am, I am, I am

Health care is no free lunch

ABC says Americans are becoming concerned over how much the president's proposed health care plan will cost, especially with a rapidly growing deficit.

Really? As opponents previously raged about that very thing, it was lost amid promises of hope and change.

I don't care who's in the White House and I care less about what Congress pledges ... there's still no such thing as a free lunch.

Maybe beer bottle suicide

Authorities say this fire was started by a flaming beer bottle propelled through a glass door.

They say "arson could be to blame."

Could be, or maybe the bottle filled itself with gasoline, struck a match and jumped through the door.

Soccer, on the rocks

Though it's not been making headlines recently, the H1N1 (swine flu) virus is still on a rampage in parts of the world, including Great Britain.

Not to worry, Russia's soccer fans have been told to drink whisky when they visit Wales next month for the World Cup qualifier match. Supposedly, it will act as a disinfectant of sorts.

What could go wrong with a bunch of soccer fans drinking not only enough to help cheer on their team but also enough to combat a pandemic?

Maybe I'm overreacting ... it's not like soccer fans are prone to violence.

What? Raise taxes?

"Obama officials: Taxes may rise to pay health care" -- What? You can't give us thousands of dollars for buying a car, pay for health care and fulfill all (OK, some) of the campaign promises without getting the money back through taxes? Who woulda thunk it?

Wal-Mart swine

Wal-Mart is talking with federal health officials about putting vaccination sites at some of its stores when the H1N1 (swine flu) inoculations come out this fall.

NO! Not only "no," but "hell no."

Wal-Mart has penetrated almost every aspect of American life, but we should not let the U.S. government open the door to the retail monster providing public health services.

Yes, that is how it would be perceived. Next, the Wal-Mart CEO might hold a position in the president's Cabinet.

Cut this

I'm leaning toward starting a campaign against lawn blowers.

Driving across town, I'm always coming across lawn maintenance crews (how's that for a PC term?) working on beautiful water-sucking lawns. Their final act, it seems, is to sling yet another gas-guzzling machine onto a worker's back to spread around the grass clippings.

Seriously, what do they think they're achieving? The beautifully manicured lawn, it seems, must be surrounded by concrete that is void of grass clippings. So, naturally, they blow the grass into the street.

There, instead of composting into the ground to nurture the grass, the remains work their way into the storm sewers to help clog them.

Oh, and fall is coming, a time when the blowers are used to gather leafs ... USE A RAKE!

OK, I'm better now.

Honoring Obama

All kinds have lined up to honor Barack Obama -- OK, maybe not so many as six months ago -- but the strangest may have arrived.

The Chia Pets people have put out a Chia Obama. Yes, a clay-type bust of the president with the chia vegetation, whatever it is, growing for hair.

The leader of the free world has arrived!

That's settled

Hawaii's director of health, Dr. Chiyome Fukino, issued a statement she had personally inspected President Barack Obama's birth certificate and said he is indeed a natural-born American citizen.

There, I'm sure that will shut up all those who believe Obama executed a prenatal plan to usurp the Constitution.

Bird brains

Now I've heard it all ... OK, not really, but I'm much closer after reading this story about an alleged bird-fighting ring in Connecticut.

On its face, that's not too surprising, until you read the fighting birds were canaries and saffron finches.

Mark Twain once wrote of a man who would bet on anything, including which of two birds would be the first to fly off a fence rail. Sounds like some of these people may have suffered from such an addiction, but to an incredibly sad level.