A "disaster" we can handle

I see this pending pandemic of swine flu -- or North American flu, as agriculturalists wish we will call it -- as a public relations coup for government.

With scientists saying the strain is relatively mild, with governments and agencies ranging from World Health Organization down to local school districts jumping at the opportunity to be seen as pro-active, and with media who love a good fire story ... it looks like a win-win-win.

Hundreds of thousands of people die every year from regular old flu, so the bar is pretty low for officials to be able to claim that their actions were effective.

I'm not saying the drastic measures are being taken because government wants to look good. It's because they don't want to look bad.

Frankly, though I want to blame them, I cannot.

History has shown viruses are capable of doing unpredictable and catastrophic things. While I roll my eyes with some of the actions, I then remind myself that high school seniors missing a field trip is not as bad as spreading a virus that has suddenly mutated to a highly malicious stage.

So, yeah, I'm hoping that everyone does come out of this "pandemic" looking good.

Bet you haven't heard this

WAKE UP, WORLD! The highly restrained media are blinding you to the terror of swine flu. They do not want you to know that there are 68 -- count them, SIXTY-EIGHT -- cases of the influenza in the United States alone. Why, that's one for every 4.5 million people.

They are hiding the facts behind non-threatening headlines and stories such as:

Most infected in Mexico, US swine flu victims may be passing it to others, WHO official says;

Swine flu cases increase, hurting markets, airlines;

Swine Flu Spreads Around the Globe;

World Health Organization raised its infectious disease alert level for the first time ever;

Mexico City is a metropolis under siege;

Congress stripped nearly $900 million to combat an influenza pandemic from the economic-stimulus package;

Swine flu unstoppable, WHO warns;

Swine Flu Vaccine Months Away, FDA Says;

A full-scale pandemic could be expected to claim the lives of about 2 million Americans;

Little-known ‘social distancing’ plans could close schools, gathering spots;

Three pupils have killer disease; and even

Comercios, cerrados parcialmente en el DF.

Consider yourself warned.

What a steal

Throughout this mlb.com report, they continue to refer to it as one of the most exciting and one of the rarest plays in baseball.

Indeed it is.

If you haven't had a chance to see Jacoby Ellsbury stealing home plate in Sunday's ball game, take a look at the video linked to above.

Saturday updates

President Obama today announced a plan asking federal workers how to save money.

I like it, as long as (1) they (a big pronoun in this usage) are willing to act decisively and quickly, (2) they are willing to make big changes (there's that word) even if not politically beneficial and (3) they do not create a huge expense in handling and processing the requests.

That third point is key. Government has a tendency to address a problem by creating agencies that merely shift the burden.

In the Republicans' address today, Sen. Lamar Alexander issued a call for real energy independence, saying we need to concentrate on building nuclear power plants instead of spending billions in subsidies for renewable energy (read: solar, wind, etc.).

He's half right but totally wrong. That is, the answer is not in putting all of our eggs in any one basket, least of all the burning of carbon-based fuels in coal and natural gas plants.

Nuclear energy is something we absolutely must make easier to accomplish and allow investors to build plants. The repercussions of Three-Mile Island and Chernobyl have held us back way too long.

As for renewable energy, I'm a big fan and want to see that developed. However, I'm leery of how easily government can waste money on feel-good projects.

Pursue renewable energy. Build nuclear plants. Cut back on burning fossil fuels.

The best medicine

Laughter is one contagious effect few of us mind catching ... or spreading.

Here are two videos mentioned in the current A Texas Voice column:

Laughing quadruplets

Mini cattle

Brotherly antics

Fidel Castro, the Cuban dictator who supposedly passed power to his brother, Raul, says President Barack Obama misinterpreted Raul's remarks about possible discussions between the two countries.

In other words, Raul misinterpreted his title of president as meaning he was really leading Cuba now instead of Fidel. Indeed, Fidel might have to overthrow Raul.

Fool me once ...

It is being said that waterboarding interrogation techniques were used 183 times against Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the guy who says he planned the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

While I like to believe our nation is above torture, I recognize the desire to extract information that might prevent other attacks ... but that's not the point here.

I'm thinking that after just a time or two of making someone think they might drown and then saving them from drowning, the effectiveness has been spent. For the last 180 or so times, Mohammed simply had to wait for the torture to end, knowing that he would not die from it.

Yankees 0-1

Like so many things, the New York Yankees baseball team is something you like or dislike.

As are liver and onions.

I'm among those who do not like the Bronx Bombers. While I've respected the skills of many Yankees, the last one I "liked" was probably Bobby Richardson and that was mainly because, like me in Little League at the time, he played second base and wore No. 1.

So, it was kinda fun, in a mean way, to see the first game in their brand new expensive ballpark was a 10-2 blowout in favor of the lowly Cleveland Indians.

To all my Yankee-fan readers ... I apologize.

So, you hate us

Somali pirates are mad that U.S. Navy Seals killed three pirates while freeing an American citizen. The United States is their "No. 1 enemy" now ... like we've not heard that before.

Listen. Your compadres attacked a U.S.-flagged vessel ... how stupid was that? On top of it all, the Maersk Alabama was not a tanker carrying oil but a cargo ship loaded with emergency food and relief supplies to Africa.

President Obama is right that nations need to work together. My first vision is of ships traveling in packs, each convoy protected by naval vessels. There would also have to be an international understanding that authorizes the use of force in protecting the ships. Problems would have to be worked out, but it can be done. Otherwise, more lawless men will not be able to resist the urge of piracy.

About growing older

Those of you who read my newspaper column were promised the complete list of facts about growing older and ... here it is, as taken from the e-mail making the rounds.

Speaking of my column, A Texas Voice, I'm planning on posting some old columns here or on a separate site soon to make them easier to share. If there's one or more you'd like to see, leave a comment.

- - -

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
First -- Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second -- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third -- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth -- When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth -- You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth -- I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh -- One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth -- One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth -- Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth -- Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

Pigeons on the run

There's no such thing as a free lunch, especially for a pigeon in Mojave County, Ariz.

In 1998, county leaders ruled thou shalt not feed the urban scavengers on the ground. It appears that it was an oversight that left open the possibility of feeding pigeons with bird feeders ... who'd guess it?

It's now official, however. Feeding pigeons in any manner is illegal.

I understand the birds are now petitioning D.C. for a relief package.

Let's drive a little further

It is law in Texas that parts of the highway system -- including streets and bridges -- be named only after a person if that person is deceased and was significant in the state ’s history or in the lives of the people of this state.

However, a bill filed in the current legislative session seeks a slight amendment to name a section of Interstate 20 as "President Barack Obama Freeway."

Whoa.

President Obama proved inspirational in his history-making run to the White House, but that's not enough to justify abandoning a prudent hesitation.

Think back, if you will, some seven and a half years to October 2001. Then, just weeks after the terrorist attacks on our country, President George W. Bush's inspired leadership had the nation lining up behind him. Like Obama now.

No, take your time and let history play out a bit. After all, the man hasn't been in office 11 weeks yet.

Smokin'

Today, our nation takes its first step toward solving the government's financial problems.

A new tobacco tax goes into effect, raising the federal tax from 39 cents to $1.01 per pack.

Why haven't we done this before? How long will it be before we take the logical next steps?

Substantially increase the "sin tax" on alcohol, especially imported varieties. Add a tax to fast food, soft drinks, pastries, chips -- all of those things that are making us fat. Tax people who do not exercise. Tax everyone who does not follow doctor's orders.

Install GPS devices in all vehicles to not only tax them for every mile driven but also for every time anyone fails to buckle a seat belt or any time the vehicle exceeds the speed limit or rolls through a stop sign.

Eventually, however, the majority of people will live right and tax collections will drop. Not to worry, we can just increase the taxes or, in a worst-case scenario, start taxing breathing.

A great day is just around a smoky corner.