Wal-Mart swine

Wal-Mart is talking with federal health officials about putting vaccination sites at some of its stores when the H1N1 (swine flu) inoculations come out this fall.

NO! Not only "no," but "hell no."

Wal-Mart has penetrated almost every aspect of American life, but we should not let the U.S. government open the door to the retail monster providing public health services.

Yes, that is how it would be perceived. Next, the Wal-Mart CEO might hold a position in the president's Cabinet.

Cut this

I'm leaning toward starting a campaign against lawn blowers.

Driving across town, I'm always coming across lawn maintenance crews (how's that for a PC term?) working on beautiful water-sucking lawns. Their final act, it seems, is to sling yet another gas-guzzling machine onto a worker's back to spread around the grass clippings.

Seriously, what do they think they're achieving? The beautifully manicured lawn, it seems, must be surrounded by concrete that is void of grass clippings. So, naturally, they blow the grass into the street.

There, instead of composting into the ground to nurture the grass, the remains work their way into the storm sewers to help clog them.

Oh, and fall is coming, a time when the blowers are used to gather leafs ... USE A RAKE!

OK, I'm better now.

Honoring Obama

All kinds have lined up to honor Barack Obama -- OK, maybe not so many as six months ago -- but the strangest may have arrived.

The Chia Pets people have put out a Chia Obama. Yes, a clay-type bust of the president with the chia vegetation, whatever it is, growing for hair.

The leader of the free world has arrived!

That's settled

Hawaii's director of health, Dr. Chiyome Fukino, issued a statement she had personally inspected President Barack Obama's birth certificate and said he is indeed a natural-born American citizen.

There, I'm sure that will shut up all those who believe Obama executed a prenatal plan to usurp the Constitution.

Bird brains

Now I've heard it all ... OK, not really, but I'm much closer after reading this story about an alleged bird-fighting ring in Connecticut.

On its face, that's not too surprising, until you read the fighting birds were canaries and saffron finches.

Mark Twain once wrote of a man who would bet on anything, including which of two birds would be the first to fly off a fence rail. Sounds like some of these people may have suffered from such an addiction, but to an incredibly sad level.

Let's get postal

Seriously, it's amazing how convenient and efficient our postal service is.

Especially considering ...

I received an advertisement in the mail from the U.S. Postal Service. It encouraged me to "Ship and mail from these local businesses."

It listed 32 businesses, 31 of which are some 100 miles or farther. The "close" one is only 50 miles away.

I wonder how much they paid to design, print and distribute this helpful pamphlet.