Taking care of busyness

I've recently come to the conclusion a major reason people retire is to have time to attend to mounting medical issues ... doctor's appointments, lab tests, sonograms, prescriptions, etc.

Poly-lies

Polygamist sect leader Warren Jeffs, after being convicted of child sexual assault, was removed at his request from the courtroom during the sentencing hearing, but only after he read a statement he claimed was from God that promised a "whirlwind of judgment" on the world if Jeffs wasn't set free.

Thank goodness for that.

Now, after he is sentenced to most or all of his remaining life in prison and there is no whirlwind of judgment, perhaps some of his followers will figure out he's been lying to them all along and that he is not God's hand-picked representative on earth.

Of course, living in their enclaves of solitude, they may only continue hearing lies fed to them by another so-called leader who enjoys taking advantage of the disenfranchised. I hope, for their sake, they find the truth.

Then there's the wrong way

Let’s just say you’re in a bad situation in your home country. You take a trip and, perhaps through dramatic means, you manage to infiltrate the country of your dreams, the place where you feel you can live safely and achieve a happy life.

It’s not that simple, however. Your dream country has laws concerning who it allows to enter and, more particularly, who it allows to stay and take up residency. In the meantime, according to your dream country’s policies, you remain in a detention center specifically for people seeking asylum. You will stay there while your appeal for asylum is considered.

OK, not exactly the way you saw it working out in your dream, but it’s still a step in the right direction. Meanwhile, you have the chance to prove what a wonderful addition you will be to your dream country. Goodness, it would be crazy to not want you, right?

Time drags on, you start to worry a bit and then ... a couple of your fellow detainees supposedly get word their requests for visas have been denied. They start to make a scene. Others join in and, before you know it, approximately a fourth of the detainees are caught up in a protest.

And we’re not talking peaceful resistance here.

Buildings are set afire. Nine structures are gutted. Detainees perched on rooftops hurl roof tiles and furniture at those fighting the fires.

I’m not likely to make up such a scenario. No, it’s real and it’s still playing out in Sydney, Australia. Just who started it and who participated are questions yet to be answered by immigration officials, but there’s one thing you and I have already figured out.

There is no way protesting – rioting, really – can help someone trying to win favor with the local government. They must wonder if you’re seeking asylum because you cannot get along wherever you live.

Certainly, there may be underlying story lines worthy of consideration: mental illness, living conditions or a process moving too slowly, for example. However, the idea of setting buildings on fire is never a good idea. Those involved will now have a tough time finding any place to live out their dreams.
(c) 2011 by Steve Martaindale   

Hasty rumors

If you have any remaining hopes political races are anything more than popularity contests, consider the latest exhibit: “Gabby Giffords Doesn't Know She's a Senate Front-Runner” via The Atlantic Wire.

After U.S. Rep. Giffords was shot in the head Jan. 8, 2011, in an assassination attempt that killed six and injured a dozen others, even those of us who never heard of her learned she is respected and loved by many. Over the next days and weeks, small bits of information came out about what may prove to be a dramatic recovery.

Now, as the story above informs us, some are suggesting the congresswoman make a run for the Senate. Of course, it’s merely speculation at this point because Gabby, as she’s called by many, is just now beginning to formulate entire sentences. She only recently was told she was shot and not in an accident, as she had been assuming. She still has not yet been told of the deaths of friends at the shooting.

I hope Giffords does complete a full recovery. She might even make a wonderful senator, but there’s nothing now to lead us to either assumption.

However, her name still evokes passion, so people are floating the idea before things cool down.

And someday, they just might be able to tell her what they’re doing.

On the heels of coolness

While driving around the small Texas city where I work, it's common to see young adult men (teens and 20s, I'd guess) walking down the street while holding their pants up with one hand or, even funnier looking, pulling up the pants with each step.

I may laugh at the spectacle, particularly when they add the skewed cap and other contemporary accoutrements, but nothing about it bothers me. They're simply trying to be cool ... or whatever the appropriate term is today.

It struck me, however, they have one huge hurdle to overcome in achieving coolness.

They are walking.

This may mean nothing in a large city, but nobody walks here (within reason) unless it's for exercise or because he has no car.

Yeah, that's what you're telegraphing as you hike down the street while hiking up your pants -- you either have no car or no license. And here in small town Texas, that's a far cry from cool.

Death of a pioneer

His wasn't a household name, but a medical pioneer died Monday. Like me, you probably had not heard of Ronald Lee Herrick, but he made history in 1954 when he donated a kidney to his twin brother. Today, thousands of organ donations occur every year and each recipient owes a small amount of gratitude to those who broke new ground.

Recyclers' friend

A woman at work the other day had a piece of old office equipment that was to be thrown out, but she really wanted a way to recycle it, so I took up the search.

The city actually has a good drop-off recycling program, but I found nothing offered for electronics. Searching further, I learned the Best Buy store does.

I walked up to the Geek Squad counter and asked, "Will you recycle this?" The young man looked in the box and said, "We'll take care of it."

A pat on the back for Best Buy. By the way, Lowes is also offering recycling for a number of items, just not electronics.

Incompetency primer

The man who tried unsucessfully to be declared mentally incompetent to stand trial for the kidnapping of Elizabeth Smart was kicked out of the courtroom Monday for being unruly during jury selection.

Man, I bet nobody saw that one coming.

You win!

I never realize I watch much television until election season, when I'm overwhelmed by campaign advertising.

Well, this year, the advertising has affected me. After being bombarded with ads by Democrats calling Republicans liars and thieves, after being pounded with ads by Republicans calling Democrats liars and thieves, I'm convinced.

I believe them both.

What does a CIO do?

Describe for me a "chief innovation officer" for a media conglomerate. What does that mean?

According to this latimes.com story, the CIO for Tribune Co., Lee Abrams, is on indefinite suspension without pay during the investigation into a companywide memo he sent. The e-mail included a link to a video labeled "Sluts" that included female nudity.

Well, I guess that's innovative.

They do call him Tiger

I was all prepared last weekend to poke a little fun at Tiger Woods. I’m glad I held off.

According to this article on Yahoo Sports, Tiger took out a $54.5 million mortgage on a mansion he’s building on Jupiter Island, Fla. Not only that, but his loan repayment is structured over just more than 60 months – a monthly mortgage payment of about $1 million.

If you’ve not been paying attention, Tiger had embarrassing personal information come out about him last year and has gone through a divorce. He took time off from playing golf and has not done very well since returning.

So ... and this is where I almost jumped the gun ... I noticed last week that the first round of the first golf tournament following the release of this information found Tiger in ... drum roll, please ... 95th place among 99 players in the Deutsche Bank Championship in Boston.

However, there is a reason Tiger’s a legend in his own time. He followed his opening round 72 with a 65 to make the cut and then a 69 and a 68. He did not make his mortgage payment, but his 11th place finish (remember 95th?) netted a check for $148,929.

Yeah, I’m willing to bet he’ll come up with the house payment somewhere.

And the winner is ...

"I'm not sure we will ever see anyone declare victory in Iraq," Army Gen. Ray Odierno told reporters at the Pentagon.

No victory in the Middle East? Uh-oh, someone's been reading history books.

Stop it!

There is a wonderfully insightful message buried within a press release from a U.S. senator urging further intrusion by the federal government into states' responsibilities.

Sen. Charles E. Schumer (D-NY) wants the Obama administration to endorse tough penalties for states that refuse to impose bans on texting while driving, as proposed in legislation offered by Schumer this summer.

His bill would require states to pass legislation outlawing texting while driving. Should they not, the states would risk losing 25 percent of their federal highway funds.

Here's the good part:

“The fact is, the federal government cannot, by itself, outlaw texting while driving. Only states can. But the federal government can make it hard for those states that don’t go along.”

You are correct, senator. It is the states' responsibility, so butt out.

Distracted driving is dangerous and should be avoided.

Further intrusion by the federal government into states' rights is dangerous (and may have already passed the point of salvaging the intentions of our founding fathers) and should be avoided.

Mahmoud who?

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Friday called the Holocaust a myth.

It would be interesting to revisit this in 50, perhaps even 20, years and see if anyone remembers who Ahmadinejad was.

A genuine hero

We lost a great person Saturday. Great? you ask. Norman Borlaug's efforts in improving crop yield around the world is credited with saving perhaps a billion lives. Hundreds of millions of lives! I know he was still teaching at Texas A&M when he was 90, perhaps still was. RIP.

Ever little thing

So, storage makes everything good ... except spelling.

The real condemnation is I saw this sign several weeks ago, but they changed it before I could get a photo. Then, it came back ... misspelled again.

The real crybaby is ...

Without really thinking, we've all said and done things we soon regretted, but few, I hope, have acted as rashly as Roger Stephens of Stone Mountain, Ga.

Police say the 61-year-old man became annoyed with a crying 2-year-old girl in a store. After reportedly warning the mother, "If you don't shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you," he fulfilled his promise by slapping the girl at least four times.

The girl was apparently not injured, though the mother was upset. Stephens was arrested and is charged with felony cruelty to children. (Take a look at his mug shot; he looks like he's about to slap the officer taking his photo.)

There is no defense for what Stephens did. An adult must understand that a toddler will cry in a store, that the mother cannot always stop and take the child outside, that it is just one of life's little inconveniences. It's not like a child crying in a movie theater, for goodness sakes.

At the very least, you ignore it. Preferably, you give the mother a knowing smile, assuring her that you empathize and giving her the encouragement she may need to deal with the situation. After all, you can move to another aisle away from the baby; she cannot.

Most importantly...

This Associated Press story tells about a frightening event in which a man jumped into a stopped school bus, overpowered the driver, took control of the bus and jumped out of the driver's seat as the bus rolled down a steep hill ... injuring two students and the driver.

But, wait, I omitted the key second word of the story -- the man was "shirtless" -- and the entire second paragraph -- he was "naked" by the time he was arrested.

I can tell you from years of experience that mundane or close-to-average stories are more interesting and more deserving of a reporter's time if there is an unusual angle. However, this is nothing like a mundane story. Drop the "reality TV" line of thinking and concentrate on what readers need to know.

Change or no change

Solomon Jackson Jr. says winning a $260 million Powerball jackpot will not change him.

Just for the record, should I cash a lottery ticket with a nine-digit jackpot, it will change me ... but only in a good way.

It's a zoo in there

Reuters brings to us the latest entry in the Quit Wasting the Court's Valuable Time category.

A woman is suing a zoo because she fell after a dolphin show left water on the floor; she slipped, fell and suffered what she claimed was $50,000 damages in lost wages, medical expenses and emotional trauma.

Hey! You're at a zoo. Take a little responsibility and provide some evidence you're representing the higher life form in the facility.

Go figure

This USA Today article reveals a stunning discovery. It explains states are closing prisons because of budget shortfalls and ... lo and behold ... it puts people out of work.

That's the problem with governments -- federal, state, county, city, school, drainage district, whatever -- adding services and hiring people. It all takes money. As more and more people work for the government, fewer people have real jobs with which to pay them.

Clinton and the mayor

Following are links to articles mentioned in this week's A Texas Voice column, printed between Aug. 13 and Aug. 16, depending on your publication:

City worker suspended for failing to greet mayor

Memo from city official

Second thoughts by city officials

Hillary: I'm the secretary of state; I am, I am, I am

Health care is no free lunch

ABC says Americans are becoming concerned over how much the president's proposed health care plan will cost, especially with a rapidly growing deficit.

Really? As opponents previously raged about that very thing, it was lost amid promises of hope and change.

I don't care who's in the White House and I care less about what Congress pledges ... there's still no such thing as a free lunch.

Maybe beer bottle suicide

Authorities say this fire was started by a flaming beer bottle propelled through a glass door.

They say "arson could be to blame."

Could be, or maybe the bottle filled itself with gasoline, struck a match and jumped through the door.

Soccer, on the rocks

Though it's not been making headlines recently, the H1N1 (swine flu) virus is still on a rampage in parts of the world, including Great Britain.

Not to worry, Russia's soccer fans have been told to drink whisky when they visit Wales next month for the World Cup qualifier match. Supposedly, it will act as a disinfectant of sorts.

What could go wrong with a bunch of soccer fans drinking not only enough to help cheer on their team but also enough to combat a pandemic?

Maybe I'm overreacting ... it's not like soccer fans are prone to violence.

What? Raise taxes?

"Obama officials: Taxes may rise to pay health care" -- What? You can't give us thousands of dollars for buying a car, pay for health care and fulfill all (OK, some) of the campaign promises without getting the money back through taxes? Who woulda thunk it?

Wal-Mart swine

Wal-Mart is talking with federal health officials about putting vaccination sites at some of its stores when the H1N1 (swine flu) inoculations come out this fall.

NO! Not only "no," but "hell no."

Wal-Mart has penetrated almost every aspect of American life, but we should not let the U.S. government open the door to the retail monster providing public health services.

Yes, that is how it would be perceived. Next, the Wal-Mart CEO might hold a position in the president's Cabinet.

Cut this

I'm leaning toward starting a campaign against lawn blowers.

Driving across town, I'm always coming across lawn maintenance crews (how's that for a PC term?) working on beautiful water-sucking lawns. Their final act, it seems, is to sling yet another gas-guzzling machine onto a worker's back to spread around the grass clippings.

Seriously, what do they think they're achieving? The beautifully manicured lawn, it seems, must be surrounded by concrete that is void of grass clippings. So, naturally, they blow the grass into the street.

There, instead of composting into the ground to nurture the grass, the remains work their way into the storm sewers to help clog them.

Oh, and fall is coming, a time when the blowers are used to gather leafs ... USE A RAKE!

OK, I'm better now.

Honoring Obama

All kinds have lined up to honor Barack Obama -- OK, maybe not so many as six months ago -- but the strangest may have arrived.

The Chia Pets people have put out a Chia Obama. Yes, a clay-type bust of the president with the chia vegetation, whatever it is, growing for hair.

The leader of the free world has arrived!

That's settled

Hawaii's director of health, Dr. Chiyome Fukino, issued a statement she had personally inspected President Barack Obama's birth certificate and said he is indeed a natural-born American citizen.

There, I'm sure that will shut up all those who believe Obama executed a prenatal plan to usurp the Constitution.

Bird brains

Now I've heard it all ... OK, not really, but I'm much closer after reading this story about an alleged bird-fighting ring in Connecticut.

On its face, that's not too surprising, until you read the fighting birds were canaries and saffron finches.

Mark Twain once wrote of a man who would bet on anything, including which of two birds would be the first to fly off a fence rail. Sounds like some of these people may have suffered from such an addiction, but to an incredibly sad level.

Let's get postal

Seriously, it's amazing how convenient and efficient our postal service is.

Especially considering ...

I received an advertisement in the mail from the U.S. Postal Service. It encouraged me to "Ship and mail from these local businesses."

It listed 32 businesses, 31 of which are some 100 miles or farther. The "close" one is only 50 miles away.

I wonder how much they paid to design, print and distribute this helpful pamphlet.

Big deal

McDonald's is running it's big drink special again. I just saw a commercial telling us how great it is that we can buy any size soft drink for only a dollar. pbskids.org tells us syrup for a medium drink costs about nine cents. Of course, they've got to cover the cup, lid and straw. They also must pay employees, building lease, electricity, etc.

However ... a dollar for a soft drink is not a deal; it's just better than what restaurants usually charge.

Drink water.

Sign of ... what?

Have you noticed a large number of convenience stores in your area displaying a large banner on the building?

The one I've seen a lot lately says, in bold red capital letters: "WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS."

The first time I saw one, I thought, "Well, I guess that's nice." Now, however, I see them everywhere and it indicates to me all of the owners were suckered by a sign maker into believing the banner would make them stand out.

Drop the cheap shots

So the president and his wife went on a date ... something of a cute story. They flew to New York City for dinner and a show.

On cue, the Republican National Committee issued a news release criticizing President Obama for the trip. (The White House did not say how much the trip cost, but the article did say they flew in "the smaller jet," whatever that means.)

The RNC indicated that since the country is experiencing economic difficulty, the first couple should not take such a trip.

Come on, RNC, didn't we get enough cheap shots during the George W. Bush administration? Instead of returning fire, why don't you take the high road and keep your comments on real issues?

Secret accountability

This is hilarious ... the American Football Coaches Association says it will begin in 2010 making the coaches' poll of top football teams a secret ballot. The funny part is they say it will make them more accountable.

This isn't just a glamour poll. It has a function in determining which teams qualify for Bowl Championship Series (BCS) games, including the national championship. Remember the animosity in past years over the teams selected? With this move, coaches with a vote (about half of them) or the ear of a coach with a vote may have some undue influence on the outcome and not have to answer for it.

I hope the BCS (which I don't like anyway; I'd prefer a playoff) will stand up to the coaches and remove their poll from the mix.

Of lesser evils

As much as I dislike the concept of U.S. taxpayers owning General Motors, it seems more appealing than another major corporation (Chrysler) being sold to an overseas investor (Italy's Fiat).

Watch for the green

OK, it’s time to climb back into the saddle and catch up with a few postings.

Hey! If you’re driving and are stopped at a signal light and you’re the first in line ... PAY ATTENTION.

Even in the smallest town, there is likely traffic lined up behind you. Some of those drivers are in a hurry. When the light goes green, it often does so for a short time – maybe not enough for everyone to get through – so if you’re not paying attention and fail to go with the green, there are people who get to stay in line for yet another cycle.

So, pay attention and I’ll get off your back.

Burris burrowing deeper

In case you've not checked lately, U.S. Sen. Roland W. Burris, who ascended to Barack Obama's Senate seat under a cloud of suspicion, is still holding down the seat.

Now, a tape of him offering a monetary bribe for the seat is headed to the U.S. Senate Ethics Committee.

We can hope he won't represent Illinois much longer, but it's already gone on way too long.

A prayer for Mike Tyson

I have never had any respect for Mike Tyson. Other athletes with certain character flaws I can respect at least for their on-the-field accomplishments, but Iron Mike's transgressions exceeded my graciousness. Plus, to be candid, I have trouble considering boxing a sport -- a whole 'nother argument not to be fought here.

However, I cannot help but feel for Tyson and his family with the loss of his 4-year-old daughter in a tragic home accident. Tyson's problems over the years slid to the background when he suddenly became a father facing that most undesirable task of burying his child.

Nobody deserves that.

Hurricane Warning

Here's your first alert: You're about to be inundated with news stories and public service messages concerning the June 1 official opening of the Atlantic hurricane season.

It's been a staple for decades along the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico coasts but has grown incredibly since Katrina and will be further amplified by Ike. With all of the 24-hour news generators needing sexy stories, they will crank up the volume about hurricane preparedness.

If you live in an area of concern, you probably know what to do. If not, consult with locals or check with local news stories. The rest of us could do without all of the blowhards.

(As a former resident of a coastal barrier island, I am a dedicated watcher of tropical storms. If you don't have your favorite monitoring site, may I suggest Weather Underground?

Maybe it means...

Saw a couple of bumper stickers on a car. One was the popular "Obama '08" campaign sticker.

The other had a drawing I did not identify and the words "Pawn Power."

Fill in your own punch line.

Good to hear

Want more good news? Here's a great story. A 3-year-old boy wandered from home in the rugged hills of southeastern Missouri.

After more than two days ... well, just read the story.

Man bites dog ... sorta

Links to stories referred to in the current A Texas Voice column:

Two elderly sisters said to be heroin dealers

Mail carrier caught with meth

School security guard arrested on drug charges

Parking meter repairman accused of stealing coins

Origin of swine flu found

Researchers have tracked down the origin of the latest swine flu strain, according to information I've received via e-mail:

A "disaster" we can handle

I see this pending pandemic of swine flu -- or North American flu, as agriculturalists wish we will call it -- as a public relations coup for government.

With scientists saying the strain is relatively mild, with governments and agencies ranging from World Health Organization down to local school districts jumping at the opportunity to be seen as pro-active, and with media who love a good fire story ... it looks like a win-win-win.

Hundreds of thousands of people die every year from regular old flu, so the bar is pretty low for officials to be able to claim that their actions were effective.

I'm not saying the drastic measures are being taken because government wants to look good. It's because they don't want to look bad.

Frankly, though I want to blame them, I cannot.

History has shown viruses are capable of doing unpredictable and catastrophic things. While I roll my eyes with some of the actions, I then remind myself that high school seniors missing a field trip is not as bad as spreading a virus that has suddenly mutated to a highly malicious stage.

So, yeah, I'm hoping that everyone does come out of this "pandemic" looking good.

Bet you haven't heard this

WAKE UP, WORLD! The highly restrained media are blinding you to the terror of swine flu. They do not want you to know that there are 68 -- count them, SIXTY-EIGHT -- cases of the influenza in the United States alone. Why, that's one for every 4.5 million people.

They are hiding the facts behind non-threatening headlines and stories such as:

Most infected in Mexico, US swine flu victims may be passing it to others, WHO official says;

Swine flu cases increase, hurting markets, airlines;

Swine Flu Spreads Around the Globe;

World Health Organization raised its infectious disease alert level for the first time ever;

Mexico City is a metropolis under siege;

Congress stripped nearly $900 million to combat an influenza pandemic from the economic-stimulus package;

Swine flu unstoppable, WHO warns;

Swine Flu Vaccine Months Away, FDA Says;

A full-scale pandemic could be expected to claim the lives of about 2 million Americans;

Little-known ‘social distancing’ plans could close schools, gathering spots;

Three pupils have killer disease; and even

Comercios, cerrados parcialmente en el DF.

Consider yourself warned.

What a steal

Throughout this mlb.com report, they continue to refer to it as one of the most exciting and one of the rarest plays in baseball.

Indeed it is.

If you haven't had a chance to see Jacoby Ellsbury stealing home plate in Sunday's ball game, take a look at the video linked to above.

Saturday updates

President Obama today announced a plan asking federal workers how to save money.

I like it, as long as (1) they (a big pronoun in this usage) are willing to act decisively and quickly, (2) they are willing to make big changes (there's that word) even if not politically beneficial and (3) they do not create a huge expense in handling and processing the requests.

That third point is key. Government has a tendency to address a problem by creating agencies that merely shift the burden.

In the Republicans' address today, Sen. Lamar Alexander issued a call for real energy independence, saying we need to concentrate on building nuclear power plants instead of spending billions in subsidies for renewable energy (read: solar, wind, etc.).

He's half right but totally wrong. That is, the answer is not in putting all of our eggs in any one basket, least of all the burning of carbon-based fuels in coal and natural gas plants.

Nuclear energy is something we absolutely must make easier to accomplish and allow investors to build plants. The repercussions of Three-Mile Island and Chernobyl have held us back way too long.

As for renewable energy, I'm a big fan and want to see that developed. However, I'm leery of how easily government can waste money on feel-good projects.

Pursue renewable energy. Build nuclear plants. Cut back on burning fossil fuels.

The best medicine

Laughter is one contagious effect few of us mind catching ... or spreading.

Here are two videos mentioned in the current A Texas Voice column:

Laughing quadruplets

Mini cattle

Brotherly antics

Fidel Castro, the Cuban dictator who supposedly passed power to his brother, Raul, says President Barack Obama misinterpreted Raul's remarks about possible discussions between the two countries.

In other words, Raul misinterpreted his title of president as meaning he was really leading Cuba now instead of Fidel. Indeed, Fidel might have to overthrow Raul.

Fool me once ...

It is being said that waterboarding interrogation techniques were used 183 times against Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the guy who says he planned the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

While I like to believe our nation is above torture, I recognize the desire to extract information that might prevent other attacks ... but that's not the point here.

I'm thinking that after just a time or two of making someone think they might drown and then saving them from drowning, the effectiveness has been spent. For the last 180 or so times, Mohammed simply had to wait for the torture to end, knowing that he would not die from it.

Yankees 0-1

Like so many things, the New York Yankees baseball team is something you like or dislike.

As are liver and onions.

I'm among those who do not like the Bronx Bombers. While I've respected the skills of many Yankees, the last one I "liked" was probably Bobby Richardson and that was mainly because, like me in Little League at the time, he played second base and wore No. 1.

So, it was kinda fun, in a mean way, to see the first game in their brand new expensive ballpark was a 10-2 blowout in favor of the lowly Cleveland Indians.

To all my Yankee-fan readers ... I apologize.

So, you hate us

Somali pirates are mad that U.S. Navy Seals killed three pirates while freeing an American citizen. The United States is their "No. 1 enemy" now ... like we've not heard that before.

Listen. Your compadres attacked a U.S.-flagged vessel ... how stupid was that? On top of it all, the Maersk Alabama was not a tanker carrying oil but a cargo ship loaded with emergency food and relief supplies to Africa.

President Obama is right that nations need to work together. My first vision is of ships traveling in packs, each convoy protected by naval vessels. There would also have to be an international understanding that authorizes the use of force in protecting the ships. Problems would have to be worked out, but it can be done. Otherwise, more lawless men will not be able to resist the urge of piracy.

About growing older

Those of you who read my newspaper column were promised the complete list of facts about growing older and ... here it is, as taken from the e-mail making the rounds.

Speaking of my column, A Texas Voice, I'm planning on posting some old columns here or on a separate site soon to make them easier to share. If there's one or more you'd like to see, leave a comment.

- - -

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
First -- Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second -- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third -- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth -- When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth -- You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth -- I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh -- One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth -- One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth -- Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth -- Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

Pigeons on the run

There's no such thing as a free lunch, especially for a pigeon in Mojave County, Ariz.

In 1998, county leaders ruled thou shalt not feed the urban scavengers on the ground. It appears that it was an oversight that left open the possibility of feeding pigeons with bird feeders ... who'd guess it?

It's now official, however. Feeding pigeons in any manner is illegal.

I understand the birds are now petitioning D.C. for a relief package.

Let's drive a little further

It is law in Texas that parts of the highway system -- including streets and bridges -- be named only after a person if that person is deceased and was significant in the state ’s history or in the lives of the people of this state.

However, a bill filed in the current legislative session seeks a slight amendment to name a section of Interstate 20 as "President Barack Obama Freeway."

Whoa.

President Obama proved inspirational in his history-making run to the White House, but that's not enough to justify abandoning a prudent hesitation.

Think back, if you will, some seven and a half years to October 2001. Then, just weeks after the terrorist attacks on our country, President George W. Bush's inspired leadership had the nation lining up behind him. Like Obama now.

No, take your time and let history play out a bit. After all, the man hasn't been in office 11 weeks yet.

Smokin'

Today, our nation takes its first step toward solving the government's financial problems.

A new tobacco tax goes into effect, raising the federal tax from 39 cents to $1.01 per pack.

Why haven't we done this before? How long will it be before we take the logical next steps?

Substantially increase the "sin tax" on alcohol, especially imported varieties. Add a tax to fast food, soft drinks, pastries, chips -- all of those things that are making us fat. Tax people who do not exercise. Tax everyone who does not follow doctor's orders.

Install GPS devices in all vehicles to not only tax them for every mile driven but also for every time anyone fails to buckle a seat belt or any time the vehicle exceeds the speed limit or rolls through a stop sign.

Eventually, however, the majority of people will live right and tax collections will drop. Not to worry, we can just increase the taxes or, in a worst-case scenario, start taxing breathing.

A great day is just around a smoky corner.

Real survivor skills

I'm not real sure why this story out of the Stillwater (Okla.) NewsPress caught my eye, but I'm glad it did. It's refreshing to know people -- young and old -- still work at preserving some of the old arts.

Making my own bow and arrows isn't quite up my alley, but I'm glad others keep the art alive instead of relying on imports from Asia.

Dancing With Idols

At the considerable risk of ticking off a number of you, I must ask, what's the big deal with these misnamed "reality" shows?

Scrolling through headlines just about any day, one finds stories about wars, disasters, political moves and who's winning or getting thrown out of "American Idol," "Dancing with the Stars," a bachelor competition or some other far-fetched idea of entertainment.

First of all, it's hard to believe these things are successful, but I cannot fathom why news agencies give them such play.

The answer must be the same reasons television airs the shows. They are cheap to produce and viewers get caught up in them.

It's time we all got a bigger dose of reality by leaving pablum such as "reality TV" to play itself out before an empty viewership.

Saint Patrick's controversy?

Change Saint Patrick's Day to Shamrock Day?

Have you heard anything about this? This article says some are easing into the new name for the March 17 observation of Irish heritage in order to not offend.

NOT OFFEND?

What about the offense to the Irish, particularly Irish Catholics, for whom this is an actual holy day, honoring the patron saint of the country?

I could go on about how ridiculous this is, but the idea is so lame that I choose to believe nobody is taking it seriously.

One thought though ... Don't proponents realize the shamrock was utilized by Saint Patrick to demonstrate the idea of the Holy Trinity? Whoa, they might want to choose a less offensive name.

Godly pursuit

Here's a story with tremendous fill-in-the-blank potential ...

The Kentucky New Era in Hopkinsville tells us police pursued this vehicle for 10 minutes before abandoning the chase, presumably for safety reasons. They later found it in a church parking lot and made an arrest.

My version of how this story ends is that the culprit sought divine forgiveness in hopes it would ward off the cops. (OK, it's weak ... what's yours?)

I take thee ... or your money

When did this happen?

This story out of Minnesota says a judge ordered a woman to pay her ex-fiance for the engagement ring he gave her.

We've made it incredibly easy to break up a marriage, giving couples little pause before entering an "until death do we part" union. Now, a guy doesn't even have to think too seriously about giving an engagement ring; if they break up, he'll get the ring back.

Safely tucked in

Here's a great story out of The Topeka Capital-Journal.

Tony Hernandez had twice seen his detached garage burgled, so he created a low-cost alarm. He placed a baby monitor in the garage with the speaker near his bed. Yep, the third burglar was apprehended.

You've got to love it when the good guy outsmarts the bad guy.

Just disappear

OK, so this wannabe magician said he shipped himself from New York to Las Vegas. The FBI and the Transportation Safety Administration investigated and revealed it to be a hoax, but there will be no charges, they say, because he broke no law.

What?

So, why was there an investigation?

If they investigated because it's illegal to ship people (is it?), then there should be some charge, something similar to pulling a fire alarm when there is no fire.

Lost?

There's no new "Lost" episode this week.

Oh, my.

I shall be off course ... disoriented ... adrift ... astray ... misplaced ... mislaid ... missing ... gone ... vanished ... nowhere to be found ... ... ... lost.

What 100 days?

Interesting listening to some of the mainstream media questioning whether President Obama is trying to accomplish too much ...

Maybe it's because he's heard them questioning whether President Bush was accomplishing enough.

Too many in the press got too much joy out of tearing down Bush to back off from Obama for long. Fortunately, I think Obama may be as adept at ignoring them as was Bush.

By any other name

Because state legislators felt Iowa's older residents did not like the term "elder," lawmakers voted to change the name of the Department of Elder Affairs to the Department on Aging.

That's the Department on Aging...

That's the DOA.

OK, folks in the department said they will use the acronym DA, but I doubt the DOA reference will die hard.

Gov. Chet Culver has yet to sign the change into law.

Student tie-down

Middle school students across the country may be incensed, as may be a fair percentage of their parents, by a story out of a Houston suburb. However, you can bet a vast majority of teachers sympathize with the former member of their ranks and will tell you they've come close to doing it themselves.

The story has apparently been kept pretty well tied up by Fort Bend ISD, but the district did confirm a middle school teacher resigned after taping a student to a chair.

The official district line is the teacher used "inappropriate disciplinary action" by utilizing packing tape to keep a boy from turning around in his seat.

I know a lot of teachers and spent a bit of time as a teacher's aide and as a substitute. Their job of controlling students has become more and more difficult with children who care less about authority, with parents who rely on schools to "fix" their kids without discipline, and with legal systems that tie the teachers' hands together.

Part of the blame, of course, must go to the small number of teachers who abuse their authority. As is the habit of our legislators and judges, unreasonable restraints are routinely placed on general populations due to the offenses of particular members.

Who's the big loser in the story above? Not the district and not even the teacher. No, the big loser is likely the student and some who witnessed it. Maybe they will fight the urge to see how much further they can push other teachers, but I doubt it.

Special delivery

CNN has this story about the U.S. Postal Service spending $1.2 million to buy an employee's home so he could transfer to a new job. The story goes on to tell about how often the USPS does this and how much it loses.

However, my thought is, what kind of postal employee has a $1.2 million, 8,400-square-foot home with an indoor swimming pool?

He was postmaster in Lexington, S.C., which recorded 9,793 residents in the 2000 census. It is a rapidly growing suburb of Columbia, but still ...

The employee is now customer service manager in Carrollton, Texas. In other words, we're not talking about someone at the top of the postal hierarchy.

I'm beginning to see why the USPS is having trouble staying afloat.

You wanna touch it?

OK, I just don't understand. Either I'm way too paranoid or these guys aren't too bright.

Sure, they're excited about winning $216 million, but the last thing I would do is notify the media ... and I'm a journalist!

Should I hold a winning ticket, I would maybe tell my closest family, would talk to an attorney and/or financial advisor about how to best handle the sticky details and would get the ticket turned in before something happened to it. Any publicity would be the minimum required by law; I would just as soon nobody knew about it.

Like I said, however, I'm paranoid.

Goodbye, Paul Harvey

For the argument that there's nothing but bad news from the mass media, we had Paul Harvey.

He dug out interesting tidbits not often considered newsworthy. He latched onto scientific discoveries and embraced their promises. He celebrated triumphs of the human experience.

Paul Harvey died Saturday at the age of 90.

I remember an old journalism professor criticizing Harvey for mixing advertising with news, something Harvey said he did only for products he trusted. It always made me uncomfortable, too, but today we're seeing newspapers blur those lines themselves.

Listening to Paul Harvey's radio commentaries was always an uplifting experience, underscored by his vocal styling.

His son, Paul Harvey Jr., had taken over much of the work the past few years and has shown an effort to match his dad's enthusiasm for the news we won't likely hear anywhere else. He even has done a good job copying his style.

Thank you, Paul Harvey. It's been quite a ride.

A-Rod oddity

OK, so New York Yankee baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez confessed to using performance-enhancing no-nos in the past, with the assistance of his cousin.

Everyone is disappointed ... awww ... but backs A-Rod, who no longer does anything wrong.

However, he was told by the Yankees to not allow his cousin anywhere the team congregates.

Why, then, do they allow A-Rod to hang around the other players?

Locked rather than loaded

One of those conspiracy e-mails making the rounds is actually true.

Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009 has been introduced in the U.S. House as H.R. 45 by Rep. Bobby Rush, an Illinois Democrat. The full bill can be found here on govtrack.us. Snopes.com has a wonderful summation, including pointing out that Rush has not been able to gain any co-sponsors and that the Democrats would suffer at the polls for passing the act.

Just thought you might want to keep tabs on what's happening.

Sacrifice

Compassionate news out of the National Football League office today. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has taken a 20 percent pay cut because of the economy.

Whoa, that means his $11 million salary and bonuses would drop to $8.8 million. Thank you, Roger.

But he's not who is making the real sacrifice for the NFL. The league said it has dropped 169 jobs.

Those will see a 100 percent pay cut.

Thank you, Roger.

Getting Quotable

I'm back ... and just in time for the president's not-a-state-of-the-union address.

Actually, I did not see it last night, but the news reports summed it up with his quote, "We are not quitters."

Wow, I hope his speech writer doesn't get a bonus for that winner.

Furthermore, he said, "We will rebuild, we will recover and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before."

That has a familiar feel to it ... hmm ... oh, yeah: "We will not tire, we will not falter, we will not fail."

May I play through?

Golf is known as a game of propriety, even to the point of the player being in charge of calling penalties against himself for rules violations.

Imagine this man's surprise when, after allegedly pointing out another man's bad manners in the Cape Cod area of Massachusetts, he was reportedly beaten with nothing less than a golf club.

This came just days after another sports-clubbing incident on the Cape was resolved in court. It happened last summer when a man beat another with a baseball bat, supposedly upset that the victim was wearing a Yankees ball cap. I suppose he was a Red Sox fan.

Neither victim was seriously injured, which hints that the perpetrators may have been more upset by their lack of skill with their chosen sporting instrument.

The economic war

A Reuters article says President Obama's aides are warning that economic stimulus will take awhile; they should learn something from the last administration.

After the 9/11 attacks, President George W. Bush went to great lengths to stress that the war against terrorism would be a struggle measured in years instead of months. The public said it understood, but it did not. In short order, we were expressing doubt in Bush's leadership ability because the war on terrorism was, indeed, taking years.

Obama needs to keep that message out there that an economic turnaround is slow. And he must have an answer when people want to know about his exit strategy.

Domestic terrorism

Just received a forwarded e-mail from an old newspaper friend. It encourages readers to not buy Pepsi products because the company printed patriotic cans with the pledge of allegiance, omitting the words "under God."
The e-mail upset me ... not for the intended reason. I invested two minutes in a search at snopes.com and found the background story on the e-mail, which has also been circulated about Coca-Cola.
Of course, the allegation is false. So, instead of being patriotic by forwarding to everyone in your address book, you're actually contributing to a form of domestic terrorism.

Burris' memory woes

Let's review ...

Barack Obama was elected president and therefore resigned his seat representing his home state in the U.S. Senate, putting Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich in position to appoint a new senator.

Blagojevich was then charged with attempting to sell the seat. There were cries for his resignation, which he ignored.

As the state's legislative body prepared to impeach the governor, he went ahead and appointed Roland Burris to the position. During the state House's impeachment proceedings, Burris testified he had not talked to anyone representing Blagojevich about the pending appointment.

Burris was eventually accepted into the U.S. Senate.

Blagojevich was kicked out of office.

Then, Saturday, Burris admitted that he had indeed been contacted by the governor's brother, Robert Blagojevich, who wanted Burris' fundraising assistance.

Burris said he gave them nothing.

But he also had said no such conversation took place.

I have no idea if Illinois has enough honest politicians, but its residents deserve another shot at getting one.

Alps ouch

Consider this fair warning should you be planning a little nude hiking across the tiny Swiss canton of Appenzell-Innerrhoden.

Apparently, hiking the Alps au naturel is popular with tourists, but not with the locals, who number only 15,000 in the canton.

So, a new law now authorizes authorities to fine naked hikers 200 Swiss francs on the spot.

Like I said, be warned. Be sure to stick some money into your shoe.

Yield to pedestrians

It happened again.

I've always driven a lot and it amazes me when pedestrians seem to deliberately drag their feet -- sometimes quite literally -- to prolong the time they delay traffic.

Can anyone explain this?

When I'm walking across a street, I am more likely to move double-time. For one, I don't wish to inconvenience drivers, but I really don't want to be run over.

Maybe a morality coach

Heard on TV this morning that former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was released from jail after serving 99 days for lying during a whistle-blowers' trial about his role in a police official's firing.

It then said he was headed to Texas for a job interview.

My first thought, "Hmm, I wonder what kind of role he could fill in the Dallas Cowboys organization."

Good news from Iraq

Iraq held a resoundingly successful and peaceful election Saturday and who gets the lead quote in this Reuters story? Barack Obama, of course.

The good news from Iraq has been roundly ignored in recent years because it has been at least partially attributable to the George W. Bush administration.

Now, however, news reports can attach the name of the popular current president and, mercy me, it sounds as if he is getting credit for it. Forget that he fought against our being in Iraq; he's happy now that they had a peaceful election.

I'm sure the people with purple fingers are grateful for President Obama's support.

Stamp of reality

In a capitalist environment, like ours is supposed to be, the market decides whether a business should survive. You don't make money, you change what you're doing or you go out of business.

Unless you're related to the government.

Postmaster General John Potter is asking Congress to allow the Postal Service to cut back to five days of delivery a week; it is currently required to deliver six days.

Of course it should cut back. It is withering on the vine. Letters and documents are exchanged by e-mail. Bills are received and paid online. Packages that absolutely, positively need to get somewhere in a timely fashion go by commercial carrier.

Congress should allow the Postal Service to do what it must to stay afloat.

Or sink.

Main Street economy

Things are tough all over, even here on Main Street. Our family is following the government's lead, however, in order to get to better times.

First, we're going to start spending more money. We'll improve our infrastructure by putting in new carpet and painting the kitchen. We will generate jobs by hiring contractors to landscape the yard.

To help cover those expenses, we will cut our income, just as the federal government is planning by cutting taxes.

We expect things to get much better as we spend more and more of the money that we are receiving less of.

Four More Months!

The good thing about all television going digital Feb. 17 was that we would quit getting all of the annoying reminders and warnings.

Was.

Monday, the Senate unanimously approved postponing the transition until June 12. The House is expected to follow with approval Tuesday.

Yep ... four more months of irritating graphics, lame commercials and unprofessional news show reports.

We've been getting those warnings for a year and still 6.5 million homes are not prepared.

Guess what. I bet millions still won't be ready in June. Maybe Congress will make it illegal for us to not be prepared. That should fix it.

Only in the U.S.?

Friday, in Dendermonde, Belgium, a man walked into a day-care center and started stabbing and slashing with an eight-inch knife.

A 9-month old girl, a 6-month old boy and a 54-year-old caregiver were killed. Ten other children were wounded.

An Associated Press story quoted a resident of the small city as saying, "We thought that things like this only happened in the United States..."

Painful, but true.

Saturday, in Wichita, Kansas, USA, a wake was held for an elderly woman. With a large number of people in the house, others arrived and started shooting, according to an article in the Wichita Eagle. Two people died and seven hospitalized -- one in critical condition and four serious.

No answers from this corner, just more questions.

Still victims

Heard on TV this morning and then read in the paper about an execution in Texas. Both named the murderer and mentioned that he killed "two people."

Here's an idea: Let's try to give the victims at least as much attention as the murderer. I'd rather we remembered them than the one who ended their lives.

Sen. Caroline Kennedy (D-Mass) ???

So, Caroline Kennedy has withdrawn her name from consideration as New York's replacement in the U.S. Senate for Hillary Clinton.

Theories range from concern about her uncle's health to her receiving information that Gov. David Paterson did not intend to appoint her.

Consider the thought that maybe she's planning to re-establish residency in Massachusetts in order to keep Teddy's seat in the Kennedy family. There, nobody will care about how she talks ... indeed, even about what she has to say ... only that her last name is Kennedy.

Welcome, President Obama

There is so much and so little to say about Tuesday's inauguration of President Barack Obama that I'm leaning toward the latter.

His speech, which I heard on the radio, stopped short of blaming the Bush administration for Hurricane Katrina, making it seem his definition of change may simply be "anything different from the past eight years."

I do believe and fervently hope that there rests within Obama and his staff an abundance of fresh, workable, winning ideas. Thankfully, he continues to stir the American people to act. Therein lies perhaps his biggest challenge, convincing them to take charge of their own lives.

Our prayers go with him.

PB blues

George Washington Carver has always been one of my heroes and only partly because he invented peanut butter.

Peanut butter is a wonderful food. You can eat it straight out of the jar or slathered onto a variety of surfaces. You can mix it with any number of things. It makes great cookies and contributes to wonderful candies.

And you can argue that it is good for you.

So, it is incredibly disheartening to hear that the Food and Drug Administration is encouraging everyone to lay off peanut butter until they track down the source and breadth of a recent salmonella outbreak.

My first thought -- driven, perhaps, by my love of peanut butter and the recent tomato scare that so widely missed the mark -- is to call it a knee-jerk reaction. However, reading that 470 sicknesses, 90 hospitalizations and six deaths have been linked to it, I must grudgingly admit that some precaution should be taken.

Fortunately, I have an almost fresh jar of Jif in the pantry.

Preparation behind the 'miracle'

Everyone seems to be calling it the "miracle on the Hudson," the safe landing of a jetliner on the New York river Thursday, but that description is unfair to so many.

I'm not saying there was no divine intervention, but the safe landing also was the result of planning and training.

The jet is designed to stay afloat in such a landing. Pilots train on how to safely set the plane down in water. Flight attendents must fall back on their training and take charge of the cabin to lead passengers to safety.

Finally, the ferries and boats that promptly responded to evacuate passengers played no small role in the potential disaster.

While we thank God for the end result, we also must thank the long line of people who have prepared for such situations.

Thoughtful justice

A Reuters story out of Lima, Peru, says a high court ordered a man get his government job back. He was fired for being drunk at work.

The court's logic was that, even though Pablo Cayo was drunk while working as a janitor for the municipality of Chorrillos, he did not offend or hurt anyone.

Or, as some say on the basketball court, "No harm, no foul."

With what little we've heard, I must side with the court. I'm assuming, of course, that the man does not have a habit of showing up for work while intoxicated.

The "no tolerance" mentality that trashes people for one mistake leads toward an ending where few people remain to carry on society's work. There are some things -- murder, rape, child abuse -- where justice should be black or white. However, most offenses deserve some consideration in the gray areas.

Peaceful exchange

The transition of power in the White House has been so smooth this time around and George W. Bush deserves a pat on the back for his effort.

Story after story out of D.C. has pointed out that Bush not only has wished Barack Obama well but helped make the move easy.

I appreciate the way both gentlemen have handled things.

We're No. 1?

Once again, we end the collegiate football season without a clear decision of which is the nation's No. 1 team.

Get used to it. Without a playoff, there will not be many clear-cut champions.

Oklahoma, which lost to Florida 24-14 Thursday night, is the only one of the top five teams that cannot offer an argument that it should be No. 1.

Utah was undefeated. Southern Cal had only an early season loss to Oregon State. Texas defeated Oklahoma.

I must join the crowd in calling for a playoff. Take 16 teams (there will be arguments over who is included, but they will be the lower teams) and do away with the six-week break between the end of season and the championship game. Use the bowl games in the playoffs, even if some must change their traditional dates. Shuffle around which bowls get which games.

It can be done. It should be done. Division One football deserves it.

Paging Dr. Gupta

Remember the John McCain campaign ad calling Barack Obama a megacelebrity and comparing him to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton?

For some reason, that came to mind when I read that Obama is supposedly considering Dr. Sanjay Gupta as surgeon general. Gupta, you may recognize, is chief medical correspondent for the Cable News Network.

OK, I know nothing about Gupta's qualifications. However, I can't help but question the wisdom behind appointing a celebrity as surgeon general. Qualified or not, it looks funny.

Lady in waiting

When I read that New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson withdrew his appointment as the next secretary of commerce due to an investigation into possible wrong-doing, my firest thought was that Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich could learn a lesson or two.

However, to be fair, there are considerable differences, not the least of which is that Richardson still has a job while Blagojevich is asked to give up his.

Then ... another thought.

Waiting in Santa Fe to take over the reins of New Mexico's government has been Lt. Gov. Diane Denish. The state's first female lieutenant governor would become its first female governor had Richardson been confirmed to President-elect Barack Obama's cabinet.

I can only imagine her personal disappoint in Richardson's situation.

Go, Go Robots

I enjoy hearing of NASA’s open-ended success stories, such as the fact that the Mars Exploration Rover Mission – robots Spirit and Opportunity – has marked its fifth anniversary.

At its inception, scientists were hoping for three months of activity before the Red Planet’s extreme climate struck them down. Recently, Spirit awoke from a winter break and responded to signals from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

Remember Voyagers I and II? They were launched in 1977 to explore the outer planets. This they did and now, 31 years later, they continue exploring beyond the solar system.

You’ve got to love these stories.

Getting Hosed

I see some of our governmental entities are talking about raising gasoline tax because we’re buying less gasoline and they’re having trouble paying for highway upkeep.

I’m not going to get into the fact that we spend way too much on highways, partly in an effort to make them safer for irresponsible drivers and partly to enable us to drive hundreds of miles without seeing a stop sign or signal, because an article by Reuters gets into another alternative – a mileage tax.

The idea is to have a GPS implement in your car that, every time you gassed up, would work out how many miles you’ve driven and what your mileage tax should be.

Man, what a relief! That means the folks who drive the heavy, gas-guzzling SUVs can offset their tax bill a little bit while those driving economy cars to keep down transportation costs help shoulder the load.

There are many disturbing things about the idea, but I will allow one exception. It may be appropriate to have owners of electric cars and, to a lesser degree, hybrid cars pay a highway tax of some kind and a mileage tax may be an answer.

Playoff perils

So, how bad is the economy? Look no further than Minnesota.

The Minnesota Viking football team, which boasts a rather proud history, is in the National Football League playoffs beginning Sunday.

However, as of noon New Year's Day, 8,000 tickets remained unsold and area fans are looking at the possibility of not being able to watch on television due to a league-mandated blackout.

That is difficult to imagine.

Count the second

Did it seem New Year’s Eve like you just couldn’t put 2008 behind you fast enough?

Sure, it makes sense, considering a weakened economy, wars around the globe, a tiring presidential campaign and trying to figure out why the Associated Press poll of 2008’s top stories included Hillary Clinton’s losing campaign but not Hurricane Ike.

However, there was a more concrete reason. Dec. 31, 2008, was extended by one second (just prior to 7 p.m. Eastern) to help keep the world’s finely tuned official clocks in sync with the world’s turning.

It was the 24th time since 1972 that such an adjustment was made.

As a youth, I was amazed by Leap Year – the fact that it occurred every four years except years divisible by 100 except years divisible by 400. Being calculated to the point of one day out of 400 years seemed pretty incredible.

But determining a one-second-per-year slowing in Earth’s spin is mind-boggling.

Live in your new car!

GMAC Financial Services says on its Web site that it is making financing of automobiles available to more people. It had been requiring a minimum credit bureau score of 700 but will now demand only 621 or better.

Wait. Haven’t we heard before about making loans easier for people to get? Seems like that’s what led to the housing mortgage crisis, where banks put people into houses they could not afford.

Does this mean people who lose their houses may buy new cars to live in?

... Until the cars are repossessed?

Oh, yes, one other thing ... Part of what is making this possible is an “investment” made by the U.S. Treasury.

Are we really supposed to take this as good news?